Isn't Airport Security Fun?

Yesterday I had an exciting time going through security at the Memphis airport. Not sure why I was chosen to be the star, but here’s what happened.

After I took off my shoes and took my computer out of its bag and loaded everything onto the conveyor belt, I walked over in front of the screening machine and a security agent said, “Ma’am, would you feel comfortable removing your hat?”

“Oh, of course! I forgot I was wearing it.” So I put the hat in a bin and sent it through the machine and walked back in front of the screening machine.

Same security agent said, “Ma’am, would you be comfortable removing your jewelry?”

“Well, I wore all leather and pearls today, nothing will set the machine off, so I don’t see why I need to remove it all.”

Security agent looked at the other agent and they both nodded.

“Okay, ma’am, then you’ll have to have the full body pat down.”

Whatever. I stood in the machine with both hands above my head like a criminal, then stepped through the other side where a (female) security agent patted me down… all over my arms, legs, hips, and between my breasts. Nothing really offensive, and hey, I’m happy to help keep terrorists off my plane. But then another agent nodded at this one and said, “Be sure and swab her hands.”

“Swab my hands?” I asked, a bit miffed at this point.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“What’s that for?”

“To check for chemicals on your hands.”

“Why?”

“Because you required the pat down.”

I noticed the woman in front of me had a pat-down, too, but they skipped the hand swab on her.

I guess I must have looked special enough to get the star treatment.

As a Delta Priority Gold Member, I was first on the list for an upgrade to First Class on the flight to Denver, but all the First Class seats were taken. So, the stewardess approached me before take-off and told me I would receive a free cocktail during the flight.

“Oh, thank you!” The star treatment continued… and later in the flight a different stewardess showed up at my seat with a second complimentary gin and tonic, although I hadn’t asked for it.

Maybe that was my reward for being such a good girl back in security.

Gotta’ love Delta.